Biting off more then I can chew..

This pic basically sums up my approach, and response, to life..

I am an extremist, which means, that for better or worse I don't do things in half measures.. life would probably be a lot easier if I did sometimes *laughs*.. but where's the fun in taking the easy way out?

Biting off more then I can chew is something that I quite literally started to do at the tender age of four years. 

I was at kindergarten and sitting with the other children around a long table eating my lunch before playtime.. my mother had packed me a small granny smith apple, but without slicing it as she normally did.. so lifting it enthusically to my wide open mouth I chomped down, taking a massive bite!

As has become evident throughout my life, I bit off more then I could chew..

Now, keep in mind it was a clean bite and that I was only four.. I pulled the piece of apple from my mouth when I realised it was too large for me to manouvre it to continue chewing.. and just as I was preparing to bite it in half to make it more manageable the kindergarten teacher came along and shoved the whole piece back into my mouth, admonishing me for taking food out of my mouth.

To cut a long story short, I was then forced to stand in the corner behind an open door while the other children went outside to play.. given strict instructions that I was to remain there until I managed to eat the overly large piece of apple.  My progress was monitored and "encouraged" by regular thumps to my back between my shoulder blades.  Of course I cheated.. I peeked through the crack in the door where the hinges were and when I could see the teacher outside, I would quickly stick my chubby lil finger into my mouth to manouvre the piece over my molars to allow me to continue chewing it.

Needless to say this incident brought to the forefront some of my other personality traits, sheer wilful determination and stubborness.. and sadly one other that I have had to struggle against over the years.. throwing in the towel.

Yes.. I am ashamed to say.. that I am a kindergarten drop out.. *laughs* .. I point blank refused to return to kindergarten the next day and when my parents discovered the bruises on my back they didn't force me... so much for hopping back onto the proverbial bike.

Its funny though how such simple incidents from our past can help to shape us.  Of course as adults we then have the ability to reflect and to recognize significant events and to rectify our reactions to them, so that we may heal and grow.. but sometimes realising the triggers to our issues isn't always so simple.

Interestingly enough, for many many years I could not handle the idea of eating apples or anything apple related, and would actually say to others.. "I don't like apples".. until one day, feeling obligated to be a polite dinner guest I stoically tackled a dessert of apple pie.. only to discover that I really did enjoy it, even though my mind was still firmly insisting, "I don't like apples".

Of course, once I had recalled the incident and put all the pieces of the puzzle together it made sense and my apple aversion disappeared.

Like many things in life.. once we discover why we react the way we do, then we are one step closer to controlling and resolving it too.

Ain't life funny?   *grins*